Sometimes when you live in another country for so long, you forget what's different from your own culture. You adapt. You become culturally aligned.
Diagnosis: I've become Swedified.
The effect = irreversible.
 |
| Who am I?? OMG, what have I become?!?! I'm a CYBORG!!!! |
experience some of the following symptoms:
a) he is drunk
b) he is insane
c) he is weird
d) he’s all of the above
2. You can see the difference between real blondes from the fake blondes.
3. You schedule your social events several weeks in advance.
4. Your coffee consumption exceeds 6 cups a day.
5. You greet everyone in the room by simply saying your name while giving a
quick handshake
6. The first thing you do upon entering a bank, post office, drugstore,
hospitals, clinics etc. is to look for the "queue number machine".
7. You accept that you have to queue to take a "queue number".
8. The reason you take the ferry to finland is:
a) Duty free vodka
b) Duty free beer
c) Duty free cigarettes
d) To party hearty…no need to get off the boat in helsinki, just turn
around and do it again on the way back to sweden.
9. You hear loud-talking passengers on the train, you immediately assume:
a) they are drunk
b) they are not swedish
c) all of the above
10. The volume of your voice is way lower than before.
11. You know how to fix herring in 101 different ways.
12. It no longer seems excessive to spend 1,000 kronor on alcohol in a single
night.
13. You no longer think Kalles Kaviar tastes awful.
15. You think it's perfectly normal to sit down & wait for 3-8 hours at the
hospital's Emergency Care Unit until you get the Doctor's attention
16. You don’t think it’s weird for a couple to be engaged for 4 to 40 years and
have no plans to get married.
17. You assume that anyone who apologizes after bumping into you is a
tourist.
18. You get into a Mercedes taxi cab and think nothing of it.
19. You think it is normal that EVERYTHING is regulated and you obey the
rules voluntarily.
20. Hearing the words "f*ck" on daytime TV or the radio seems perfectly
normal.
21. Seeing semi-porn to porn in evening time TV seems perfectly normal.
22. You know think ”Extrapris” goods are cheaper, even though your english
mind translates the word as ”Extra Price.”
23. You think horse meat is a totally acceptable sandwich topping.
24. VD means "The Boss", not something you need to get serious medical
treatment for.
25. You say “I’m almost irritated!” when you're actually as furious as
humanly possible.
26. A 25 % sales tax on just about everything is no big deal & is perfectly
normal
27. You know that “fan” is a swear word, and not an admirer or an air
conditioner
28. You're invited to a party and you're bringing your own booze to drink.
29. You can use the words "bra", "fart" & "slut" in the same sentence
without laughing.
30. You're no longer surprised when you see full-frontal nudity in a
commercial or on TV.
32. You refer to weeks by numbers.
33. You're weekly diet composes of 30% dairy and it’s all the full fat kind.
34. You associate Friday afternoons with a trip to "System Bolaget" (liquor
store)
35. You think an 1½ cycle on your washing machine is a “quick wash”.
36. A sharp intake of breath has become part of your vocabulary, as has the
sound ‘ahh’
37. You eat your pancakes & waffles with jam & whipped cream instead of
syrup & butter.
38. You make weird vocal sounds in the midst of normal conversations:
a non-committal “mmmmm,” a questioning “ååååh?,” and a surprised
“OY-doh!”
39. You feel weird if you don't take off your shoes when you enter someone’s
house.
40. Your native language has seriously deteriorated... making stereotypical
Swenglish mistakes without thinking just because you’ve heard them so
often? = THIS IS THE WORST ONE!!!
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